Big Medicine ~ Womb Energy
I had someone ask me just recently what I meant when I talked
about or referred to big medicine or small medicine. Just what
did and does that mean?
So, I want to clarify what I mean when I
talk about these terms which I do, both here and in my classes,
and in the doing so, I want to tell the story of how this farm
came to be, the story of how we became rooted here and how this
connects to my personal medicine. But that part of the story
will come later.
Big medicine to me is a dance of three
things in relation to green healing.
First, is your personal power, or what I
like to call your womb energy. Your womb is the sacred space
within you from where all things are born. I had a woman in
class once, childless and happy about it, who told me she always
balked at the term womb energy, didn't even like the feeling it
gave her, as if she were no more than her womb, from which she
believed nothing really flowed from anyway. It wasn't until I
explained it to her as the place and source of her creative
energy and flow that she really got what I was talking about.
Our womb energy, or personal power, is
about our passion for life. You are either growing and flowing
it, or it's waning, and growing it takes commitment. This is a
commitment to yourself, but in turn it is also commitment to the
green world around you.
Now, how we manifest our passion for life,
our purpose and how we give it meaning is as different as each
woman is herself. A woman with healthy and vibrant womb energy
glows and radiates with knowing. Though it may be hard to put
your finger on it, or define it in words, the bottom line to a
woman with personal power is that she makes time for what
nourishes her. Be that belly dance class, time spent in the
wild, more truthful interactions.....she is a woman who is
actively engaged in feeding her passion. I feel invigorated
around these women, I love to share space with them.
I also see women whose womb energy is so
low and leaky they almost do not even take up their own physical
space. Women who are constantly apologizing for themselves,
women afraid to voice their opinions, women who put the needs of
others constantly before their own to the point their creative
flow is all but stopped up. I see women in pain, chronically
unhappy, and deeply unsatisfied. I see women so ashamed of their
bodies, so fearful and disempowered of our womanly rites of
power and passage, be they birth, menopause, lactation, moontime
or death they will give their power away to the first white coat
So, how do you know if your womb energy is
Do you feel you are living with purpose,
meaning, and authenticity? Do you feel passion? Are you
manifesting the life you desire? Are you actively engaged in a
physical way to the wonder of the world around you? If you have
purpose do you make space to manifest that purpose? Or bring it
out of your head and into created reality? Do you celebrate the
blood mysteries? Your body as whole/holy? Are you making time to
let your creative juices flow? To be energized?
If not, there are things you can do to
build your womb energy. First and foremost, you have to get out
of your own way.
Being in your own way can take on many
different forms. But the underlying cause is always the same.
You. This gives you power though, because you can always change
yourself, and really there is no better time than right now, in
this moment, today.
Many women know what they should be doing
to nourish themselves more, to make space for their creative
outlets, to give themselves the time to explore their passions.
And yet........they don't. They have an idea of what nourishing
food means to them. But they don't take the time to prepare it.
They have an idea about the nourishing people they want to be
around, yet they don't make the time or space to get together.
They have an idea about nourishing the physicality of their
bodies and engaging all of their senses but yet.......they
always find excuses and promises to do it "tomorrow".
They blame their spouses, they blame their
mothers, they blame their job, they blame their children. They
look everywhere they can for reasons not to nourish themselves,
and they numb themselves out with addiction, and distraction,
until days and days tick by, and then years pass.
Or it can manifest itself in little lies.
You can be your own worst enemy of building your womb energy by
perpetuating inauthenticity. First told to others. Saying yes
when you mean no. Telling lies to others to make them feel
better at the expense of our own feelings. Not speaking your
mind when your heart desperately needs it. Being different
people to different people, lying to create a better truth for
them, though each time you create a more pleasing truth for
them, your own truth leaks out the back door. Then believing
your own lies yourself. You have said them so many times they
become your truth. This leads to deep insecurity, and degrades
our authenticity, wears on our integrity and seeps away our
The first step if this happens to be your
own particular brand of being in your own way is to make time to
do nothing. In space to do nothing but just to sit, somewhere
outside preferably, you make way for that tiny voice, your
authentic voice, to be heard.
And this is what I call getting out of
your own way. I know this path intimately because I've walked
every painstaking inch of it. I've grown from active self
destruction, and numbing myself to apathy and disengagement.
I've moved from silence and stuffing my emotions to raw pain and
anger. And the first thing I had to do to grow my personal power
was love myself enough to nourish myself.
When no one else was looking, just for me,
because I am worth it.
I gave myself permission to say no, and I
started saying it as often as yes. I stopped telling people what
I knew they wanted to hear and started telling them what I felt.
I gave myself permission to speak my mind and let the chips fall
where they may. I started making time for the friendships that I
felt nourished me and pruned the ones that didn't. I made the
time to cook my greens, eat my yogurt and brew my infusion. I
listened to my intuition instead of suppressing it. I paid
attention to my sexual desires. I took the time to leave the
dishes in the sink to slip out into the wild and breathe and be.
I opened myself up to the green world around me and put the time
in. I took on responsibility. I faced death with my eyes wide
open. I took time to play- with myself, the children, and my
goats. And as I did, I became more fully alive, more fully
present, more *here*.
I felt my womb energy and personal power
grow. And as this happened, my medicine grew. Just like that, it
I became a better mother, teacher, lover,
and friend. Whatever energy was stuck in me started flowing, and
I started radiating with purpose and meaning and I started to
hear my voice and my calling. It was there all along, I just had
to get out of my own way and open and tend the space for it to
Now, don't get me wrong, I am no beacon of
womb energy, blinding all with my light and power (lol), moving
through my days with unparalleled energy and
enthusiasm..........I often struggle with these concepts, I
often feel my womb energy waning, and its something I am
constantly aware of and working on. I need to tend me. And I
need to do it often as my needs change and evolve. I struggle to
stay present, rooted in the moment and not just in my head.
But I've learned to *engage* the energy,
not ignore, numb or dismiss it. And I do this by constantly
checking in with myself. By getting out of my own way, and
setting time aside to nourish my creativity, to give myself
freedom to express myself without thought to how I may or may
not be perceived. I make way for myself to express my whole
range of emotions knowing that I can only grow by expanding and
including rather than "rising above", repressing, or pushing
something aside. This is the way and path of the Wise Woman, the
woman of power.
When we spend time nourishing and growing
our womb energy, something amazing happens, and our medicine,
our ability to heal, our ability to connect with the green
world, the plants, the animals, it flows from us and starts to
nourish, to "green" if you will, all that surrounds us. And as
our healing energy benefits all that is around us, through this
we can recognize our deep connection to everything and our place
in the world. We become rooted in our power. Our power to love,
heal, and change. Our power to remain flexible, vibrant and
This is one of the three key components to
big medicine as I express it.